AFA Counteraction Alert - Won't Someone Think of the CHILDREN???

I grow weary of the AFA. I still feel their consistently vapid and exaggerated Action Alerts are worth combating (it must be nice for the companies and individuals targeted by these idiots to field a few comments from sane individuals now and again), I just don't have the energy to take them seriously anymore - after all, they don't even take themselves seriously. If they did, their Action Alerts and articles would contain actual facts rather than frenzied rhetoric. From now on I'll merely be using comedic translation to lampoon them like the clowns they are. I'm being generous, ridicule is more than they deserve.

The original text of the AFA Action Alert appears in italics, my helpful "translation" appears in bold.

Dear Friend,

Dear like-minded zealot,

Clad in rainbow colors and Human Rights Campaign stickers, these Home Depot employees help promote the company's outspoken pride for homosexuality.

Home Depot is proud they treat the gays like humans. They don't even have the decency to be ashamed of their disgustingly non-discriminatory attitudes.

According to the 2010 Southern Maine Pride website, Home Depot signed on as a major sponsor of its 2010 Gay Pride event. But simply financing the event wasn't enough for the big box chain.

Giving money to the gays is bad enough, but just wait until you get a load of what we're about to reveal...

Home Depot also signed on as a vendor, conducting kid's craft workshops for children in the midst of loud and boisterous gay activities.

Holy fuck! Did you catch that? CHILDREN! and GAYS! in PUBLIC! TOGETHER!

To this end, Home Depot is basically encouraging the attendance of children at events which openly expose them to transvestites, cross-dressers, and homosexual activists.

There weren't any children at these things until Home Depot showed up to entertain them! It's not like the queers have families! Home Depot must be luring kids in from NORMAL families whose parents are too stupid to realize they've just wandered into a Pride event! (Also, we're horribly confused by transgender terminology and have no idea that transvestite and cross-dresser are culturally synonymous terms.)

Unfortunately, Home Depot's participation in the Southern Maine Pride Festival doesn't stand alone. It has also sponsored and participated in the 2010 Boston Gay Pride parade.

They're everywhere! No where is safe! Why, if we don't stop them, YOUR town might be the next to be exposed to their filthy message of equality! And crafts. Filthy, filthy crafts.

Homosexuals often exploit young children in their desire to 'normalize' their gay lifestyle.

Those bastards! WE get to decide what's normal! Otherwise, kids might grow up thinking logic and equality trump prejudice and dogma!!! It's exploitative! Children don't have anything to gain from equality!

Gay pride events have a long track record for offensive public displays of homosexual conduct.

Have you seen them? It's disgusting! They have the gall to act like NORMAL couples! All huggin' and holdin' hands and stuff! And if you wade through thousands of totally decent photos you'll eventually come across a couple that are almost, very nearly, risque! It's revolting!

Obviously, Home Depot is OK with the idea of exposing children to an unhealthy and risky environment. So much so, it is willing to also celebrate it by participating in its promotion.

They're exposing these defenseless, innocent, CHILDREN to their own PARENTS, FAMILIES, and FRIENDS!!! Can you believe it??? It's unhealthy! It's risky! We can't say why, but... but... it is!!! CHILDREN!!!

TAKE ACTION

Bolster your sense of self-righteousness without exposing yourself in public where your bigotry might be recognized for what it is.

Send an email to let Home Depot know you are sickened by their support and approval of children at homosexual events.

Let Home Depot know that you vomit at the sight of families that aren't carbon copies of your own.

If you are a customer, please add an additional personal line to our prepared letter to Home Depot.

Also, tell them that you'll be buying your wholesome supplies at a store more sensitive to your bigotry.

After sending your email, make an extra effort to protect children by calling Home Depot personally. Brad Shaw is the Vice President of Public Relations. His direct number is 770-384-5350.

If you're comfortable outing yourself as a moron who can't tell the difference between danger and normal human behaviors, clog up Brad Shaw's phone lines in an attempt to protect children from their own friends and families.

Yes... that was far more enjoyable for me than logically dissecting their bullshit. There is one bit in the companion article I'd like to seriously comment on though:

"While homosexuals, who make up about two percent of the population, might applaud Home Depot for its actions, AFA contends the corporation is taking the risk of offending and losing business from the other 98 percent of the public."

Really, I wouldn't have thought you could pack so much propagandist crap into a single sentence. There are a number of tactics commonly used by anti-equality groups like the AFA at work here:

1 - Using the term "homosexuals" when discussing queer organizations and events.

When attempting to properly cultivate an "Us vs. Them" mentality it's important to eliminate all shades of gray, and Pride events are brimming with shades of gray. The queer community isn't composed only of individuals who primarily identify as homosexual, it includes individuals across the entire spectrum of sexual and gender identity. By only mentioning the opposite end of the spectrum from what they consider "normal", anti-equality groups neatly avoid discussing the fact that sexuality isn't black and white. Hinting at the existence of non-homosexual individuals like myself who identify as queer* only leads to a realization that human sexuality is too complex to be simply categorized as "Us" and "Them".

2 - Asserting that homosexuals "make up about 2% of the population".

2% is such a tiny little percentage, isn't it? Let's pretend for a moment that their percentage is accurate (it's not - even the most conservative studies estimate that 5% of the population self identifies as gay, lesbian or bisexual), 2% of the American population equals about SIX MILLION, ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY ONE THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY TWO people. That's a whole lot of people who "might applaud Home Depot for it's actions". It's hard to marginalize a minority using hard numbers (especially when they're HUGE) so anti-equality groups only advertise the fuzzy, conceptual ones.

3 - Suggesting that supporting homosexuals offends all heterosexuals.

After pulling out the supposed 2% of individuals anti-equality groups oppose, they then try to suggest that the other 98% of individuals agree with their bigotry. The facts simply don't hold up to the rhetoric, however. Recent polls suggest that as many as 49% of Americans support same-sex marriage** and it's pretty damn unlikely they're okay with marriage, but radically against corporations that support queer-equality and rainbow-themed crafts. I couldn't find any poll results for "percentage of Americans that are blatantly bigoted against homosexuals", but I imagine it's a great deal smaller than the remaining 49%.

Also, let's be clear - if you're offended by the notion that a business sponsored a craft booth for kids at a Pride event I think you qualify as a blatant bigot.

4 - Suggesting that businesses who support queer equality will lose money.

Anti-equality groups love to threaten that since the vast majority of consumers are heterosexual, the vast majority of consumers will deprive any business that dares to support queer events and organizations of their hard-earned cash.

Bollocks.

Only a small percentage of consumers will even be aware that a business they visit supports queer equality. Of that small percentage of aware consumers, an even smaller percentage will be offended. An even smaller percentage of offended consumers will participate in a boycott. Finally, an even smaller percentage of boycotting consumers will continue their boycott long term. Blips that small don't even show up on the radar of big corporations - and once you take into account the fact that a similarly small percentage of consumers go out of their way to support businesses who openly support equality, the blip disappears entirely.


Before I step off my soapbox I'd like to take one final parting shot at the AFA:

The American Family Association boasts a membership of some 3,400,000 people.

That's approximately 21% of the conservatively estimated total of American GLB individuals and only 2% of the number of Americans in favor of same-sex marriage.

Somehow I don't think Home Depot has anything to worry about.



*I choose "queer" as my orientation because the term "bisexual" falsely suggests there are only two gender identities available.
**April 30, 2009 ABC News/Washington Post poll - PDF

AFA CounterAction Alert - Gap Update

Looks like the AFA isn't done with Gap quite yet.

It seems that Bill Chandler, vice president of Gap corporate communications, told AFA that Gap will be running a new television commercial which has a "very strong Christmas theme."

This communication was apparently received in response to an online poll that showed 90% of AFA drones supported a continued boycott of the company as a result of Gap's first holiday ad that "mingled Christmas with the pagan 'Winter Solstice' holiday." You know, the holiday celebrated by witches. You know, those people the bible says you should kill. Totally uncool. The mingling, not the killing.

The AFA Alert goes on to state that "Gap says the new ad will include the popular Supermodelquins proudly cheering “Merry Christmas", and features Christmas trees, lights and ornaments as well."

Since the new ad cheers on Christmas without mentioning any other holiday, and displays traditional Christmas symbols, AFA has stated that they will suspend their boycott of the company until everyone has had a chance to view the ad. Presumably to make sure Gap hasn't snuck in any subliminal pagan bits... you know... except for the Christmas trees, lights, and ornaments.

I suppose it's possible the AFA has somehow remained blissfully ignorant to the fact that Christmas trees, lights, and ornaments originated with the Winter Solstice holiday. Or perhaps they view those Christmas traditions as having been stolen from the witches to be re-branded and used to honor Jesus. Kind of like melting all your gold down to make a golden calf just like those nasty pagans, but then using it to celebrate YAHWEH:

"And he received [them] at their hand, and fashioned it with a graving tool, after he had made it a molten calf: and they said, These [be] thy gods, O Israel, which brought thee up out of the land of Egypt. And when Aaron saw [it], he built an altar before it; and Aaron made proclamation, and said, Tomorrow [is] a feast to YAHWEH." (Exodus 32:4-5)

Oh... wait... YAHWEH didn't seem to like that very much:

"And he said unto them, Thus saith the LORD God of Israel, put every man his sword by his side, [and] go in and out from gate to gate throughout the camp, and slay every man his brother, and every man his companion, and every man his neighbor. And the children of Levi did according to the word of Moses: and there fell of the people that day about three thousand men." (Exodus 32:27-28)

Three thousand dead for the golden calf, regardless of YAHWEH feasts. Oh wait... that wasn't harsh enough:

"And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made." (Exodus 32:35)

I'm sure, however, that Christmas trees, lights, and ornaments are totally different than golden calves, right? I mean, it's not like those things were symbolic of "pagan" gods or anything. Well, okay... Saturn, Ops, Sol Invicta, Consus, Juventas, Janus, Bacchus, Osiris, Isis, Horus, and maybe a few others... but I hear YAWEH has calmed down a bit since he had a kid, so I'm sure it's okay.

The Alert closes with this gem: "As a result of your dedicated actions, we believe Gap is beginning to realize that Christmas is not just another 'holiday' and will begin to advertise in a way that is respectful to Christians and Christmas shoppers."

Got that Gap? Mentioning Christmas along with other holidays celebrated at the same time of year - offensive and disrespectful. Celebrating Christmas with a melange of pagan traditions and then pitching a fit when the slightest nod is given to any holiday other than yours - justified and righteous.

What maroons.





*UPDATE of the... um... update...*

The AFA announced this morning that the Gap boycott has officially ended. My only hope is that Gap had the damn commercial planned before the AFA started their whining and only retroactively used it to pacify them. New commercial is below, but it's not nearly as amusing to me as the other one.

AFA CounterAction Alert - The Gap

It's that time of year again - the leaves are being homicidally pushed from the trees, there's a chill in the air, and Fundamentalist Christian groups are beginning to falsely equate inclusion with bigotry.

Yes, it's time for the annual "War on Christmas" and the AFA is starting the season by targeting Gap Incorporated. It seems Gap has shunned the "Merry Christmas" message, even going so far as to release the following statement:

"Gap recognizes that many traditions are celebrated throughout this season and we feel it is important to display holiday signage that is inclusive to everyone."

The outrage! Why, it's almost as if Gap executives looked at one of those good old American calendars and noticed that Chanukkah, Christmas, Winter Solstice, and Kwanzaa were all celebrated within the same two-week span and then callously decided that they should wish ALL of their customers happiness instead of righteously focusing on the ones that worship Jesus!

While such reasoning sounds completely ridiculous when I word it, I'm sure the AFA's wording sounds much more logical:

"Christmas is special because of Jesus. It's not just a 'winter holiday.' For millions of Americans the giving and receiving of gifts is in honor of the One who gave Himself. For the Gap to pretend that isn't the foundation of the Christmas season is political correctness at best and religious bigotry at worst."

Hrm... actually, that doesn't sound much more logical at all. I don't think Gap is pretending that the giving and receiving of gifts in honor of Jesus (aka - "the One who gave Himself") isn't the foundation of the Christmas season. It does seem, however, that the AFA is pretending that Christmas is the foundation of the holiday season. I simply don't know how they manage to get any work done over there while covering their eyes, pluging their ears, and belting out holy renditions of Silent Night in order to ward off any nasty facts that might challenge their world view. You know, like the fact that Chunakkah pre-dates Christmas by... oh... a couple thousand years. Or that the "Christmas" tradition of giving and receiving gifts began with the Pagan celebration of Solstice, just like the tradition of decorating an evergreen tree, or burning a yule log, or keeping a candle lit through the night, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Regardless, AFA is asking people to call up Gap and "in a firm but polite manner" ask them to reconsider its policy of "censoring Christmas in promotional material" and to boycott stores owned by the company until the word Christmas is seen in their advertising. I, of course, am asking that you give them a call to let them know that you appreciate their efforts to spread holiday cheer to all people, regardless of their religion or lack thereof.

The toll-free number is: 1-800-427-7895. The company number is: 650-952-4400.

Counteraction Alert - the AFA vs. the AAA

Yes, dear friends, it's yet another Daisies and Shit Counteraction Alert. This time the American Family Association has asked us to call the American Automobile Association, more commonly known as the "Triple A", and urge them to "reverse their policy recognizing homosexual couples as if they were 'married' for purposes of AAA Family Memberships." The email references this article written by Equality Florida which offers the following quote by President and Chief Executive Officer of AAA Auto Club South, Tom O’Brien: “Our policy does include gay and lesbian spouses, wherever they were married. Whether in other states or countries, they qualify." The article further states that "Same-sex couples applying for a membership need only state that they are married to receive the family benefit. Management also left the door open to expand the policy to include domestic partners - gay and straight."

The AFA's panties are in a twist because "Thirty states have overwhelmingly voted to define marriage as being between one man and one woman. Yet AAA is treating homosexual couples as if they are married.
The homosexual couples need only state that they are married to receive the family benefit. In the eyes of AAA two homosexuals living together constitute 'marriage' and make a 'family.' All they have to do to get the 'family membership' benefits is to say 'we are gay and married.'"

Their obsessive use of "scare quotes" amuses me. But I digress...

AAA South executives have been pointing out to those protesting the same-sex inclusion policy that proof of marriage isn't required for opposite-sex couples either, so no preferential treatment is being shown.

Curious to see if the same-sex inclusion policy extends beyond AAA South I checked the AAA Colorado site where the policy regarding family memberships reads "Associate members may be a spouse or one other resident adult..." which leaves the definition of marriage out of the issue all together. The AAA South policy does not contain the "or one other resident adult" language which is all that was apparently behind the initial refusal by agents to accept same-sex partners as associate members.

Regardless of the specifics, the American Family Association would like it very much if we all contacted the American Automobile Association and requested they reverse their same-sex inclusion policy while lecturing them on the current federal definition of marriage. They've even privided us with a nice little web form directed to the AAA that states how "deeply shocked and saddened" we are that they would extend family memberships even to families the AFA's tiny little god finds offensive.

In order to counter this ridiculous, religion fueled hissy-fit I'm asking that we also send a few emails and phone calls to the AAA thanking them for assisting same-sex couples in protecting and supporting their families in the same way they assist heterosexual families.

AAA CEO Robert Darbelnet can be contacted by mail at:

AAA
1000 AAA Dr.
Heathrow, FL 32746

by phone at: 813-289-5000

and by email at: RDarbelnet@national.aaa.com

AAA South also has a handy little comment form available online, and Equality Florida has a web form of their own thanking AAA South for the policy change.

AFA CounterAction Alert

Another day, another American Family Association Action Alert. Today's fear tactic - Obama wants to kill old people.

The subject line of the AFA email actually gave me a little hope at first: "Healthcare reform moving toward euthanasia". If only that were true. Something in me, however, (probably my sense of logic and grasp of the current political climate) led me to believe this was just another gross misrepresentation.

Weird. I was right.

The AFA's fear fest starts off with their concern that "a government takeover of healthcare will allow Washington bureaucrats to use 'comparative effectiveness research' to dictate to doctors which treatments they should prescribe and how much those treatments should cost." Someone should let them know that the goverment already does that. (As a quick aside - someone once asked me why the hospital charged $120 for acetomeniphin. I responded "because the government won't let them charge more.")

The meat of the AFA article concerns a couple of technical papers. The first is a paper co-authored by Health Policy Advisor Ezekiel Emanuel (PDF) which they claim states that if healthcare is to be rationed, young adults should be given priority over the elderly.

Oddly enough, the AFA's assertation is a complete stawman. First of all, the article in question isn't a broad discussion on healthcare - but rather a very specific discussion on the allocation of "very scarce medical interventions such as organ transplants". As most of us know, these services are already rationed due to the simple fact that one rarely finds organs suitable for transplant just lying about in the street. Anyone in need of an organ transplant is evaluated using criteria specific to the organ needed. These criteria result in a score - the higher the score, the more likely you are to get a transplant. (Criteria for liver transplants, and lung transplants.) Secondly, the article is simply a synopsis of the general principals and underlying core values that societies might use in determining the allocation of scarce medical interventions.

The AFA article pulls another shifty tactic by taking two quotes from separate portions of the technical paper and combining them in such a way that the average reader will believe it to be a single quote - the AFA article states "Ezekiel Emanuel wrote that if healthcare has to be rationed, he prefers the 'complete lives system,' which 'discriminates against older people.'" Within the context of the technical paper, however, we find that the complete lives system is preferred only because it "combines four morally relevant principles: youngest-first, prognosis,
lottery, and saving the most lives." and that "To achieve a just allocation of scarce medical interventions, society must embrace the challenge of implementing a coherent multiprinciple
framework rather than relying on simple principles or retreating to the status quo." The second quotation used by the AFA was actually taken from a paragraph titled "Objections" and sites two papers written in 1989 and 1995. (Jecker NS, Pearlman RA and Rivlin MM respectively.)


They then move on to a paper authored entirely by Advisor Emanuel (PDF) through which the AFA claims he suggests that health care services should not be guaranteed to individuals who are not capable of participating as citizens, including dementia patients. In reality, the article is simply a discussion of the ethical issues raised by the possibility of universal health coverage including the definition and allocation of "basic" services and a call to begin discussing the "goods and goals of medicine". Basic services are not defined in the article, so the presumption made by the AFA is both completely meaningless and misleading. It seems they very much want us to believe that Advisor Emanuel would forcibly deny readily available services, such as pain management or diagnostics, right along with those services currently considered discretionary, like organ transplants or invasive surgeries that neither extend life expectancy nor improve quality of life.


Pity for the AFA that I'm a reader, eh?

They then string together a couple of Obama quotes, completely stripped of context, relating to the money sucking nature of the current Medicare and Medicaid programs and his desire to cut funding and subsidies from the Medicare Advantage program which has now been shown to provide no additional benefits over Medicare alone. I tried to understand how Medicare and Medicaid reform kills the elderly... I really did... but I just can't seem to figure it out.

All-in-all the email and linked article amount to nothing more than hyperbole wrapped in panic and based on a completely errant definition of euthanasia - nothing in their ridiculous argument bore even a vague resemblance to the act of granting someone a painless death.

The goal of the email was to rally the hordes of true believers into writing and calling their representatives and asking them to oppose the healthcare bill. Because I believe you all to be rational individuals, I'll leave it up to you as to whether or not you choose to support the healthcare bill rather than asking you to counter the AFA's call to action with your own calls and emails.
Should you be interested in learning more about the proposed healthcare reform, TrueMajority.org and Howard Dean will be hosting a live chat at 8:00pm Eastern, Monday, August 3rd.

To whom it may concern,

I don't know who you are and, while I have my suspicions, I can't say why you did it - but I have a little message for whomever it was that signed me up for the American Family Association's email Action Alerts:

Thank you.

I'll admit that I was annoyed at first. After all, until the AFA emails began appearing my in box was almost entirely devoid of homophobia and bigotry. It lacked the tinge of fear and cultural possessiveness that now peppers it's rows. While always rife with protest and petition requests, they had never before carried such pious ridicule and ignorance.

Luckily, this annoyance didn't last long; it vaporized with the realization that the AFA Action Alerts stand as a beacon to a dying sub-culture. Their activist howling nothing more than organized death throws. The change they so fear is coming, inching closer every day, and by all indications there is nothing they can do to stop it. I, for one, am thrilled.

Their howling also keeps me abreast of their activities, allowing me to advance the pace of their cultural death by using their own Action Alerts against them... and so begins the Daisies and Shit AFA Counteraction Alert. Whenever the AFA is kind enough to send me some bit of shite wrapped piousness requesting action, I will let you know.

Today they're requesting that we all contact PepsiCo in response to the company's financial support of the Out and Equal Workplace Summit. The AFA maintains that this summit is "designed to show corporate leaders how they can promote the homosexual agenda in their corporation" and that in "becoming a sponsor of the Out & Equal conference PepsiCo has once again refused to give any support to those who are hurting and want to come out of this destructive and aberrant lifestyle." They ask that we "call Pepsi and tell the company you will boycott its products until it stops promoting the homosexual agenda" and then "call the PepsiCo bottler nearest you and ask it to use its influence in stopping the company's support for the homosexual agenda."


For those of us that understand the "homosexual agenda" is almost, though not quite, as threatening as your average kitten and that the Out and Equal Workplace Summit is actually designed to "educate and empower organizations... [resulting] in equal policies, opportunities, practices, and benefits in the workplace regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity, expression, or characteristics" I ask that we also contact PepsiCo and let them know just how pleased we are that they choose to support equality and that we appreciate their dedication to civil rights.

Contact information for PepsiCo can be found on their website: http://www.pepsico.com/Contacts.aspx


Messages can also be sent by web form to the various PepsiCo brand sites:

Pepsi - http://cr.pepsi.com/usen/pepsiusen.cfm?date=20090720

Frito-Lay - http://www.fritolay.com/about-us/contact-us.html

Quaker - http://www.quakeroats.com/contact-us.aspx

Gatorade - http://cr.gatorade.com/usen/gatusen.cfm?date=20090720

Tropicana - http://cr.tropicana.com/usen/tropusen.cfm?date=20090720


Also, for more of the wonderful things PepsiCo has done to support equal rights you can visit the AFA's very own PepsiCo Boycott site - http://www.boycottpepsico.com/pepsidistributors.aspx