As many of you know I've been dealing with some fairly serious and frustratingly perplexing health issues. After more than a year of doctor's appointments, blood tests, and specialists the results are finally in...
There's nothing wrong with me.
My body isn't being ravaged by some unknown attacker, it's simply... off. More specifically, my immune system apparently turned psychotic from monotony and went all Falling Down on me. It initially focused most of it's attention on my left eye, reducing it to a painful lump of nearly-sightless swollen misery. As of last week, I was unable to discern simple shapes from a distance of two feet and the pain and swelling meant it was closed most of the time anyway.
I make for a very cranky pirate.
Bored with my eye as it's sole playground, my immune system recently decided to branch out; resulting in the random and yet pointedly excruciating swelling of my ovaries, spleen, and various lymph glands. Fun.
No matter. Now that a team of dedicated specialists has determined there's nothing wrong with me aside from my own malicious systems attacking me from within, a course of action has been set. I'll be taking a daily dose of Prednisone for at least the next month, meaning mostly that I'll be horny as hell and too nauseated to do anything about it. I've also begun a weekly regimen of Methotrexate which will be steadily increased until either the symptoms disappear or we decide it's not working and try something else. It's a nasty drug with a nasty list of possible side effects, but none of them include going painfully blind or dying from a ruptured spleen so I'm game.
It's still early, but I'm already seeing a bit of improvement. Hell, my left eye has been partially open through this entire blog post and, all things considered, that's just the dog's bollocks. So....
UPDATES:
Daisies and Shit Webcomic: I had intended to start posting again in October... but my body had other plans. The downtime has had an interesting effect on the format that was accompanied by the pleasing sound of snapping restraints, which I generally find to be a good thing on a creative level. I'll be doing some web work to accommodate the new format first, then I'll get back to drawing.
The Daisies and Shit Channel: On hold until the swelling goes down. YouTube comments are horrible enough already without the obvious distraction of the flaming eye of Sauron.
The Dubious Kitchen: A nice little side project I've entered purely for my own pleasure. I'll be posting recipes and tips on the site at first, then adding videos when I'm a bit more camera ready.
NinjEel: I'm still working on the script for the first issue which burst through the bounds of it's original 16 page box. Luckily, Nate works faster than I do so we're still on schedule for a Penguicon 2011 release.
University: I'm deep into my first semester and feeling pretty good about it. Grad school is a loooooong way off.
My health is in charge of my schedule at the moment, and probably for a while yet to come, so I'm not making any specific predictions about when certain things will be happening. I'm fairly sure now that they WILL be happening, however, so that's a good thing. Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive - these last few months have been a bit more of a ride than I generally like to take and your kind words and offers to help have been greatly appreciated. *snugs*
See you again soon!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Skepticamp Colorado 2010 - Impressions, Part Two: Praise
Four paltry complaints made up the last blog post detailing my criticisms of Skepticamp Colorado 2010, and not a one of them can stand up for the mountain of praise I could heap on the event. It's clear that the organizers not only had their own shit together, they also had the good sense to learn from the failures and successes of similar events.
How the hell do I get involved? Oh, wait...
Stunted troglodytes could have figured out how to get involved in the planning and implementation of Skepticamp Colorado 2010. The main informational link for the event was a freakin' wiki page that gave enough information to successfully cobble together your own Skepticamp. There were even instructions for those uncomfortable with editing wiki markup. Seriously, if you couldn't figure out when and where the event was being held, how to register, what was going down, and what needed done you were better off missing it because you weren't rational enough to understand what was going to be discussed anyway.
Ugh, I hate restrictive events... oh, wait...
Even an experienced troll would have had difficulty committing a Godwin here. Speakers weren't carefully selected by a panel, voted upon, or even drawn from a hat. If you had something you wanted to talk about, you signed up. Sure, they asked that talks be related to science or skepticism so it's always possible that questionable topic registrations would have been subject to more than a few raised eyebrows, but the organizers went out of their way to make it clear that anyone was welcome to give a presentation on the topic of their choice.
I'm new at presenting! What the hell do I... Oh, wait...
Not only did the organizers offer tips on giving a good presentation, they offered good tips on giving a good presentation. Even better, their tips were tailored to both the nature of the event and the expected audience. As simple as it is to toss a a few bones of advice to the masses I rarely see it done. Convention after convention I've encountered huddled groups of nervous newbies who signed up to be on a panel or give a presentation expecting some sort of guidance and being given nothing but a time slot in return. Not only do a few casual tips help to calm those nerves, they likely help to encourage those who were ambivalent about signing up to take the plunge. It's the instructional version of a warm handshake and a "mind your step".
I can't handle another monotonous... oh, wait...
It may have been a side effect of the free-for-all presentation sign up, but there was no shortage of variety in presentations. Sure, there were plenty of favorites on the list (is it even possible to have a skeptical event in Colorado without the Rocky Mountain Paranormal Research Society?) but there were also some unexpected and specialized topics on the docket. Seriously, I've never before come from a skeptical event with a clearer understanding of mushrooms.
Where the hell do I... oh, wait...
Park? Explained on the wiki, complete with lot prices. Find the event? Explained on the wiki, complete with a driving map and turn-by-turn directions to the greeting table; miss all that and all you had to do was follow the signs. Eat? Explained immediately prior to the lunch break, including walking directions and a brief description of the available choices and price ranges. Get the WiFi login? Information was written on the chalkboard at the front of the room and explained before the presentations began. Again, I have difficulty believing anyone was significantly lost.
I'm shy! I hate being forced to... oh, wait...
While there were plenty of opportunities for socialization, there was no forced socialization. No "let's go around the room and introduce ourselves" spotlights. No "take a moment to shake your neighbors hand" germ fest. No "find out one unusual thing about someone at your table" kinder bullshit. I hate that shit. As I mentioned earlier, there were plenty of opportunities for us to get to know one another - before the presentations began, at session breaks, over lunch and dinner... we weren't sealed off in individual cubicles like phobic pariahs, but we weren't prodded onto a social examination stage either.
A whole day of dry, intellectual... oh, wait...
I laughed at Skepticamp Colorado 2010. Presentations were, for the most part, personable and many were intended to pull a chuckle or two without skimping on point delivery. Questions and comments were pointed, but polite and there was a lot of good-natured kidding going around. I think it's important that we skeptics never forget how fucking ridiculous some of the pseudoscience floating around is and it's nice to know I'm not the only one. Lastly, ending the event with a four-round trivia contest was a stroke of genius. It was a light-hearted and information rich way to end a great day.
Is this guy ever going to take questions? Oh, wait...
I've mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating - Skepticamp's policy allows audience members to ask questions during presentations and that decision sparkles with brilliance. I've seen a number of presentations where the speaker stood up and unloaded such a massive haul of bullshit that a 3-day question and answer period wouldn't have even scraped the surface. I'm convinced there are speakers (creationist ass-hats, I'm talking about you) that do this on purpose - they know there's simply no way to refute every falsehood they've spewed in the brief period of questions that follows their presentation. I'd like to see someone try that at Skepticamp where the audience would be busy dismantling their farcical juggernaut as it was being built. With fire. Brainy, brainy fire.
No, really... I'd like to see that. If someone could arrange that, I'd be uber grateful.
There are people out there who view skeptics as a massive horde of killjoys, pouncing on the harmless fantasies of the unsuspecting public and probably kicking kittens in their off time. The truth is, skeptics are very much concerned about that unsuspecting public, precisely because that public believes their fantasies are harmless. Skeptics know that real harm is done by those fantastical beliefs - from "holistic medicines" that keep people from seeking proven treatments to "you have the power" mystical schemes that fill people with guilt while emptying their wallets. Was everyone at Skepticamp opinionated? Everyone I met or heard from, yes. Was anyone at Skepticamp a pompous ass wreaking with arrogance? Not a one of them. Everything I saw and heard fortified my belief that skeptics are caring individuals, desperate to shine the light of reason into dark corners.
Not another crappy venue... oh, wait...
Skepticamp Colorado was held in two adjoining classrooms at Colorado University's Boulder campus, a very wise choice indeed. Now, before anyone starts griping that not everyone has access to such posh accommodations, it wasn't the fact that it was a college campus that made the choice wise. There are a number of things you can expect to need for an event where people are coming to present information to people who are coming to take in information:
Electricity - They had it at every seat.
Internet Access - They had several WiFi accounts at the ready.
Ample Seating - They knew how many people were going to be there, and they had butt holsters for all.
Climate Control - No one died of heat stroke, 'nuff said.
Lighting Control - No one went blind, 'nuff said.
A Projector - It's 2010, there's no reason to be using a chalkboard if you don't want to.
Designated IT - They had a name to scream when things went wrong.
There were other things that were nice about the classroom setting, like desks, but the things I've listed above are practically essentials these days and Skepticamp had them all.
So... hungry... fading... oh, wait...
Somebody (probably more than one somebody) brought food. Yes, there was a lunch break where we were all able to gnosh to our hearts content on a wide variety of tasties, but there's something about sitting on your butt listening to presentations that brings on the munchies. It's always nice to have something for people to snack on here and there, and Skepticamp did. Those unknown somebodies were also smart enough to bring a range of snackage, from the healthy to the carblicious, all the way down to the sugertastic. Thank you somebodies... the bagels were nummy and the fudge was much appreciated.
Damn, I wish I could have heard more about... oh, wait...
As a speaker, a special brand of disappointment descends when you're made to leave an attentive and responsive audience that would clearly like to hear more. Similarly, captivated audience members wilt with frustration as they watch the time-keepers hurry their speaker off the stage with desired information in tow. We all understand why schedules and time-keepers are necessary , but that doesn't lessen the suckage when a topic on a roll is brought to a crashing halt. There were, however, no such issues at Skepticamp. When it was clear that a topic hadn't been explored to the audience's satisfaction the presenter was either directed to the hallway where interested individuals could continue the conversation, or they were given an additional time slot later in the day.
If you haven't gotten the gist by now, Skepticamp Colorado 2010 was a very successful event put in motion by people that genuinely care about skepticism and the skeptical community. Those that stepped forward to help with organization clearly used their experiences (and their brains) to mold an event that catered to those who would be participating. It was a community event, and it felt and worked like a community event - no lockstep top down committee to steep it in the feel of an academic lecture series, no over-complication springing from a basic distrust in the mental capabilities of the participants, and no wall of separation between organizers and attendees. This fluidity is clearly intentional; allowing the event to evolve naturally over time to a stable, rather than rigid, state. The glory of the model is that new ideas can be implemented with very little risk, making leaps of advancement possible for the entire organism without hampering the growth of its individual... bits.
Okay, the Darwinian comparison breaks down a bit in the area of vocabulary. The general abstract, however, is apt. Skepticamp Colorado 2010 rocked it, and the model it's built on all but guarantees it'll rock it even harder next time 'round. I know I'll be there, and this time I'll be bringing at least one newbie along with me. Somehow, I doubt I'm the only one.
How the hell do I get involved? Oh, wait...
Stunted troglodytes could have figured out how to get involved in the planning and implementation of Skepticamp Colorado 2010. The main informational link for the event was a freakin' wiki page that gave enough information to successfully cobble together your own Skepticamp. There were even instructions for those uncomfortable with editing wiki markup. Seriously, if you couldn't figure out when and where the event was being held, how to register, what was going down, and what needed done you were better off missing it because you weren't rational enough to understand what was going to be discussed anyway.
Ugh, I hate restrictive events... oh, wait...
Even an experienced troll would have had difficulty committing a Godwin here. Speakers weren't carefully selected by a panel, voted upon, or even drawn from a hat. If you had something you wanted to talk about, you signed up. Sure, they asked that talks be related to science or skepticism so it's always possible that questionable topic registrations would have been subject to more than a few raised eyebrows, but the organizers went out of their way to make it clear that anyone was welcome to give a presentation on the topic of their choice.
I'm new at presenting! What the hell do I... Oh, wait...
Not only did the organizers offer tips on giving a good presentation, they offered good tips on giving a good presentation. Even better, their tips were tailored to both the nature of the event and the expected audience. As simple as it is to toss a a few bones of advice to the masses I rarely see it done. Convention after convention I've encountered huddled groups of nervous newbies who signed up to be on a panel or give a presentation expecting some sort of guidance and being given nothing but a time slot in return. Not only do a few casual tips help to calm those nerves, they likely help to encourage those who were ambivalent about signing up to take the plunge. It's the instructional version of a warm handshake and a "mind your step".
I can't handle another monotonous... oh, wait...
It may have been a side effect of the free-for-all presentation sign up, but there was no shortage of variety in presentations. Sure, there were plenty of favorites on the list (is it even possible to have a skeptical event in Colorado without the Rocky Mountain Paranormal Research Society?) but there were also some unexpected and specialized topics on the docket. Seriously, I've never before come from a skeptical event with a clearer understanding of mushrooms.
Where the hell do I... oh, wait...
Park? Explained on the wiki, complete with lot prices. Find the event? Explained on the wiki, complete with a driving map and turn-by-turn directions to the greeting table; miss all that and all you had to do was follow the signs. Eat? Explained immediately prior to the lunch break, including walking directions and a brief description of the available choices and price ranges. Get the WiFi login? Information was written on the chalkboard at the front of the room and explained before the presentations began. Again, I have difficulty believing anyone was significantly lost.
I'm shy! I hate being forced to... oh, wait...
While there were plenty of opportunities for socialization, there was no forced socialization. No "let's go around the room and introduce ourselves" spotlights. No "take a moment to shake your neighbors hand" germ fest. No "find out one unusual thing about someone at your table" kinder bullshit. I hate that shit. As I mentioned earlier, there were plenty of opportunities for us to get to know one another - before the presentations began, at session breaks, over lunch and dinner... we weren't sealed off in individual cubicles like phobic pariahs, but we weren't prodded onto a social examination stage either.
A whole day of dry, intellectual... oh, wait...
I laughed at Skepticamp Colorado 2010. Presentations were, for the most part, personable and many were intended to pull a chuckle or two without skimping on point delivery. Questions and comments were pointed, but polite and there was a lot of good-natured kidding going around. I think it's important that we skeptics never forget how fucking ridiculous some of the pseudoscience floating around is and it's nice to know I'm not the only one. Lastly, ending the event with a four-round trivia contest was a stroke of genius. It was a light-hearted and information rich way to end a great day.
Is this guy ever going to take questions? Oh, wait...
I've mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating - Skepticamp's policy allows audience members to ask questions during presentations and that decision sparkles with brilliance. I've seen a number of presentations where the speaker stood up and unloaded such a massive haul of bullshit that a 3-day question and answer period wouldn't have even scraped the surface. I'm convinced there are speakers (creationist ass-hats, I'm talking about you) that do this on purpose - they know there's simply no way to refute every falsehood they've spewed in the brief period of questions that follows their presentation. I'd like to see someone try that at Skepticamp where the audience would be busy dismantling their farcical juggernaut as it was being built. With fire. Brainy, brainy fire.
No, really... I'd like to see that. If someone could arrange that, I'd be uber grateful.
There are people out there who view skeptics as a massive horde of killjoys, pouncing on the harmless fantasies of the unsuspecting public and probably kicking kittens in their off time. The truth is, skeptics are very much concerned about that unsuspecting public, precisely because that public believes their fantasies are harmless. Skeptics know that real harm is done by those fantastical beliefs - from "holistic medicines" that keep people from seeking proven treatments to "you have the power" mystical schemes that fill people with guilt while emptying their wallets. Was everyone at Skepticamp opinionated? Everyone I met or heard from, yes. Was anyone at Skepticamp a pompous ass wreaking with arrogance? Not a one of them. Everything I saw and heard fortified my belief that skeptics are caring individuals, desperate to shine the light of reason into dark corners.
Not another crappy venue... oh, wait...
Skepticamp Colorado was held in two adjoining classrooms at Colorado University's Boulder campus, a very wise choice indeed. Now, before anyone starts griping that not everyone has access to such posh accommodations, it wasn't the fact that it was a college campus that made the choice wise. There are a number of things you can expect to need for an event where people are coming to present information to people who are coming to take in information:
Electricity - They had it at every seat.
Internet Access - They had several WiFi accounts at the ready.
Ample Seating - They knew how many people were going to be there, and they had butt holsters for all.
Climate Control - No one died of heat stroke, 'nuff said.
Lighting Control - No one went blind, 'nuff said.
A Projector - It's 2010, there's no reason to be using a chalkboard if you don't want to.
Designated IT - They had a name to scream when things went wrong.
There were other things that were nice about the classroom setting, like desks, but the things I've listed above are practically essentials these days and Skepticamp had them all.
So... hungry... fading... oh, wait...
Somebody (probably more than one somebody) brought food. Yes, there was a lunch break where we were all able to gnosh to our hearts content on a wide variety of tasties, but there's something about sitting on your butt listening to presentations that brings on the munchies. It's always nice to have something for people to snack on here and there, and Skepticamp did. Those unknown somebodies were also smart enough to bring a range of snackage, from the healthy to the carblicious, all the way down to the sugertastic. Thank you somebodies... the bagels were nummy and the fudge was much appreciated.
Damn, I wish I could have heard more about... oh, wait...
As a speaker, a special brand of disappointment descends when you're made to leave an attentive and responsive audience that would clearly like to hear more. Similarly, captivated audience members wilt with frustration as they watch the time-keepers hurry their speaker off the stage with desired information in tow. We all understand why schedules and time-keepers are necessary , but that doesn't lessen the suckage when a topic on a roll is brought to a crashing halt. There were, however, no such issues at Skepticamp. When it was clear that a topic hadn't been explored to the audience's satisfaction the presenter was either directed to the hallway where interested individuals could continue the conversation, or they were given an additional time slot later in the day.
If you haven't gotten the gist by now, Skepticamp Colorado 2010 was a very successful event put in motion by people that genuinely care about skepticism and the skeptical community. Those that stepped forward to help with organization clearly used their experiences (and their brains) to mold an event that catered to those who would be participating. It was a community event, and it felt and worked like a community event - no lockstep top down committee to steep it in the feel of an academic lecture series, no over-complication springing from a basic distrust in the mental capabilities of the participants, and no wall of separation between organizers and attendees. This fluidity is clearly intentional; allowing the event to evolve naturally over time to a stable, rather than rigid, state. The glory of the model is that new ideas can be implemented with very little risk, making leaps of advancement possible for the entire organism without hampering the growth of its individual... bits.
Okay, the Darwinian comparison breaks down a bit in the area of vocabulary. The general abstract, however, is apt. Skepticamp Colorado 2010 rocked it, and the model it's built on all but guarantees it'll rock it even harder next time 'round. I know I'll be there, and this time I'll be bringing at least one newbie along with me. Somehow, I doubt I'm the only one.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I'm Not a Strong Person, But I Play One IRL
The husbandish and I frequently find occasion to reference the following allegorical question:
Stranded in the desert for days, alone and without supplies, hungry and dehydrated, all men will fall... what is the difference between those who emerge from the desert and those who die?
The ones who emerge from the desert stood up.
I typically count myself as someone with the will to stand up... but lately the sand beneath my feet really seems like a great place to just lay down and take a nap. I'm just So. Fucking. Mentally. Tired.
I'm tired of Fibromyalgia. I'm tired of waking up in pain every damn day knowing I'm bloody well going to be in pain straight through to lying down to sleep at night and I'm tired of knowing that it's most likely downhill from here.
I'm tired of Scleritis. I'm tired of the shifting of focus or the slightest change in lighting hitting my left eye like a spiked sledgehammer. I'm tired of looking like I've lost a fight and I'm tired of assuring people I'm not contageous. TWO FUCKING YEARS I've been dealing with this.
I'm tired of lying in bed for hours every damn night wishing I could go to sleep and I'm tired of witnessing the husbandish fall into a deep and peaceful slumber within five minutes of his head hitting the pillow.
I'm tired of adults with imaginary friends. I'm tired of gullibility. I'm tired of willful ignorance. I'm tired of intellectual dishonesty and I'm tired of intellectual laziness. I'm tired of rhetoric and sound bites and cultural adolescence.
I'm tired of being capable, responsible, reasonable, intelligent, rational, and nice. I'm really tired of being nice.
I'm not just tired of struggling... I'm tired of trying.
Now, let's be clear - I know this is a temporary state with clear causes (mainly shitty health and a number of life changes that managed to converge within a short time-span), so I'm hardly hinging on the verge of a major breakdown. My resources are simply being drained faster than they can be recharged... but I'm just not sure how to throw it into reverse. I do know, however, that I'm not at my most dependable right now and consistently apologizing for that is on the draining side of the equation. I can't afford feelings of failure right now.
For those currently waiting on me for any number of reasons, unless you've already received an uncharacteristically blunt message from me to the contrary, you're not waiting in vain. I have already boiled the fatty leavings off my To Do list to reveal the skeleton of a unified future within and whatever it is you're waiting for is part of that future.
If you have received an uncharacteristically blunt message from me, whatever you were waiting on me for isn't part of that skeleton nor the creature that will be built on top of it. I'm sorry. This is a case-closed situation.
If you've been intending to ask for my participation but haven't yet, please know that it doesn't hurt to ask. I am, after all, a human being and it feels good to know that people want me to participate. I have a very clear set of criteria in place that will determine whether or not I agree, so there's no need to worry that I'll feel pressured into taking on more than I can handle. Academia (especially the areas of Evolutionary Biology and Astrobiology), Skepticism, general science accessibility, and writing will take precedence over other areas of interest.
Thanks in advance for understanding.
- T
Stranded in the desert for days, alone and without supplies, hungry and dehydrated, all men will fall... what is the difference between those who emerge from the desert and those who die?
The ones who emerge from the desert stood up.
I typically count myself as someone with the will to stand up... but lately the sand beneath my feet really seems like a great place to just lay down and take a nap. I'm just So. Fucking. Mentally. Tired.
I'm tired of Fibromyalgia. I'm tired of waking up in pain every damn day knowing I'm bloody well going to be in pain straight through to lying down to sleep at night and I'm tired of knowing that it's most likely downhill from here.
I'm tired of Scleritis. I'm tired of the shifting of focus or the slightest change in lighting hitting my left eye like a spiked sledgehammer. I'm tired of looking like I've lost a fight and I'm tired of assuring people I'm not contageous. TWO FUCKING YEARS I've been dealing with this.
I'm tired of lying in bed for hours every damn night wishing I could go to sleep and I'm tired of witnessing the husbandish fall into a deep and peaceful slumber within five minutes of his head hitting the pillow.
I'm tired of adults with imaginary friends. I'm tired of gullibility. I'm tired of willful ignorance. I'm tired of intellectual dishonesty and I'm tired of intellectual laziness. I'm tired of rhetoric and sound bites and cultural adolescence.
I'm tired of being capable, responsible, reasonable, intelligent, rational, and nice. I'm really tired of being nice.
I'm not just tired of struggling... I'm tired of trying.
Now, let's be clear - I know this is a temporary state with clear causes (mainly shitty health and a number of life changes that managed to converge within a short time-span), so I'm hardly hinging on the verge of a major breakdown. My resources are simply being drained faster than they can be recharged... but I'm just not sure how to throw it into reverse. I do know, however, that I'm not at my most dependable right now and consistently apologizing for that is on the draining side of the equation. I can't afford feelings of failure right now.
For those currently waiting on me for any number of reasons, unless you've already received an uncharacteristically blunt message from me to the contrary, you're not waiting in vain. I have already boiled the fatty leavings off my To Do list to reveal the skeleton of a unified future within and whatever it is you're waiting for is part of that future.
If you have received an uncharacteristically blunt message from me, whatever you were waiting on me for isn't part of that skeleton nor the creature that will be built on top of it. I'm sorry. This is a case-closed situation.
If you've been intending to ask for my participation but haven't yet, please know that it doesn't hurt to ask. I am, after all, a human being and it feels good to know that people want me to participate. I have a very clear set of criteria in place that will determine whether or not I agree, so there's no need to worry that I'll feel pressured into taking on more than I can handle. Academia (especially the areas of Evolutionary Biology and Astrobiology), Skepticism, general science accessibility, and writing will take precedence over other areas of interest.
Thanks in advance for understanding.
- T